Thursday, January 28, 2010

To blog or not to blog...

Well, as excited as I am to have started a blog, I'm not quite comfortable with it... Mostly that has to do with the fact that I'm not really sure what a blog is supposed to be. Is it an essay? A journal that other people are invited to read? And what are the rules? Do I have to write every day? (If that's the case, I've already blown it - and it's only the third day.) Also, it's fairly inevitable that I'll end up saying something that makes me feel overexposed. Which brings me to the small matter of caring what other people might think about what I'm writing...

This worry is somewhat alleviated by writing posts on the web. For some reason typing on the computer doesn't feel as serious to me as putting pen to paper. The words seem less weighty, somehow. There's a casualness to internet writing that doesn't exist elsewhere... Not that this is going to eliminate my neurosis entirely.

But yesterday I was lucky (it would be more accurate to say "blessed") enough to meet with my mentor and spiritual counselor. Whenever I talk with him I'm better able to trust the universe. To believe that we are all connected, and that however we are (regardless others' - or our own - judgments) is exactly right. So at the moment I'm trying something new, and not fretting too much about how it will turn out.

And this morning, as if in celebration, the air was thick with snowflakes - the big floaty kind that dance awhile before they hit the ground. It will probably be gone in a few hours, but for now the park looks like Christmas. It turned out to be perfect 'packing snow' too, which we took advantage of on the way to school. Some days are for hurrying. Others are for snowball fights.

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