Thursday, July 29, 2010

rainbow head


The other day on the subway a woman got on the train with no make-up. She was attractive - blond and tan with chocolate eyes. I guess she was on her way to work, because she proceeded to 'do her face' while we rode, and by the end of the trip she looked very put-together - but oddly, not as pretty as when she got on the train.

I have always thought that dark eyes don't need eyeliner or mascara to stand out... But it wasn't that. Some people just look better with less - or no - makeup. I'm sure it has to do partly with the skill with which the make-up is applied, and also with how the wearer typically looks (perhaps we grow accustomed to seeing a person a particular way) - but make-up just doesn't seem to suit certain individuals.

And it's interesting that often people have no idea how they look best - whether it's regarding make-up or clothing style or hair color. If you look at celebrity photos you'll see lots of experimental looks they've tried that aren't especially flattering. I've certainly tried my share of unflattering looks...

My hair has been many shades from brown to red to (unintentionally) green, to blue - well, it wasn't entirely blue, but stripes count, I think - and none of them looked especially good on me... At least that's what I've been told. Whenever I'm not blond my family goes into revolt until my hair is a suitable shade of gold again. I suppose I should be grateful to have someone letting me know what looks good (or terrible) on me... It's kind of like having my own stylist.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fight Club


Surprisingly, I really like the movie Fight Club (I have a relatively low threshold for violence). I guess I should say I like it until the end - when it becomes utterly ridiculous. But somehow it doesn't prevent me from enjoying the movie...

I also like this spoof from youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2PM0om2El8

sleep deprivation

I always knew it, that whole thing about how important sleep is to one’s mental state (at least it is for mine), and with my girls I’m pretty adamant about the amount of sleep they get. Some might say I am too strict in this particular area, but I always thought it was better to err on the side of caution. Bedtime debates between my girls and I are not so frequent around these parts. On the rare occasion it does happen, it's about minutes, never hours.

My oldest girls went to a horse show last week and came home wiped out. I knew they would, but didn’t really anticipate how much it would effect them. Needless to say their first night back was interesting, but not in the way I had thought.

I had assumed my girls would blissfully drift into a sweet sleep in the comfort of their own beds. Not so. Exhaustion put their defenses down and everything they had been holding in just came out. Pour out actually.

As hard as it was to hear things that were bothering them I knew it was good. It’s toxic holding things in and thankfully they felt safe enough with me to let it all out. When they had finished everything felt lighter, even the look in their eyes seemed different.

My girls have always been great at expressing themselves and their feelings, but this moment provided the perfect storm for letting everything out even more. I’m thinking this must be the silver lining to pure exhaustion. Not a bad thing actually. Not that I want this to happen too often, but okay, I’m open to it.

Friday, July 23, 2010

summer vacation

At the last minute I decided to take my girls on a little trip to San Diego. What's great about this particular destination are all the different parks in the area. My girls decided they wanted to visit Seaworld and the San Diego Zoo. We stayed at the Hotel Coronado, which is a great old hotel with a lot of history. So much history that it is supposed to be haunted (so glad we didn’t know that before stayed over).

I made a conscious decision to make this particular trip different than years past. I didn’t want the typical stress involved in going from place to place, figuring out if all the reservations were perfect, or if we were on schedule, blablabla. Besides, who says it’s required to even have a schedule. It is summer time, right? Isn’t the point of summer to take life down more than a few notches?

So we did. For the entire trip anytime one of my girls asked what time we were supposed to leave, or go do ANYTHING, I would respond, “Whatever you guys want to do.” It was liberating to say those words and felt incredibly good. The smile of surprise and satisfaction on my daughter’s faces confirmed what I was feeling inside and I knew we were on the right track.

Our trip became an exercise in living moment to moment without feeling sad because we needed to leave, or to stay. We didn’t obsess about some imaginary schedule that had to be obeyed or anyone telling us it was time to go.

What we got was the right amount of time with Shamu, the right amount of time with our toes in the sand, and the right amount of time in the sweltering heat of the San Diego Zoo (which was a lot less than any of us had anticipated, thank goodness). What we got was exactly what we all so desperately needed, time to slow down and do something novel…just be.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

micro-managing

I just sent an email to my friend Janet about our plans for tomorrow. Writing it I found myself giving her a ton of details regarding everything she needed to do for our meeting the next day. By the end of the email I was feeling funny about over managing Janet's stuff. My last comment to her was, “Sorry I’m micro-managing you”.
Janet’s response was funny (and to be honest, the exact answer I needed to justify my elaborate “to do” list). “You’re not micro-managing me, Ellen. You’re mom-managing me, and being a mother of 3, it’s second nature”.
Whew, dodged that bullet. You know, the bullet that screams, “Yes, this is something you need to work on!”

Good news

Update: Drilling deal withdrawn.

http://www.pressconnects.com/article/20100719/NEWS01/7190391/Fiala-withdraws-proposed-natural-gas-drilling-deal

Whew! For now...

It's still a huge national concern, though... this video addresses the subject:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1786720811?bctid=115600504001

What the frack?

I don't know if this is what you're supposed to put on a blog... (But I'm beginning to think I'm not really cut out to be a blogger, anyway, since haven't managed to post much of anything lately.)

I'm concerned about the proposed frac drilling in upstate New York...

As a resident of NYC, I'm very pleased with the city's famously clean drinking water. The fact that I can drink tap water here has always impressed me. When I go elsewhere, like Pennsylvania, I wouldn't dream of drinking tap water (unless I'm at my parents' house, which has multiple filters/purifiers for the entire water system) - or Florida, where the tap water tastes - actually, I should say smells, because I'm not willing to taste it - like swamp...

Here's a link with Mark Ruffalo talking about the problem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_XkaUxF_Xs

And a link to the officials who could make a difference:

http://www.gaslandthemovie.com/take-action/contact-elected-officials

If you care to, please submit the petitions to the NY officials on the link. (It's pretty easy - the site walks you through it...)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Sublime berry sangria

My friends the Lavolds are what you'd call statuesque. They're beautiful and remarkably tall - in the way that makes you think when you're with them you must have stepped into Scandanavia without knowing it. In spite of this, I always forget to feel short around them. (Probably due to the way they make me feel like part of the family...)

Hospitality is something they do really well. One of the ways they made me feel at home during my recent visit to their place in the Hamptons was with a dizzyingly delicious sangria...

Here's the recipe:

This is a variation of the traditional fruit-filled beverage. Sweet and refreshing, this version is made with berries instead of apples, oranges and grapes... and you can make it using either red or white wine. (The Lavold girls prefer white - I like red).

What you'll need:

One bottle of wine
Fresh mixed berries (or you can use frozen) 1 1/2 to 2 cups
Fruit nectar (apricot, peach or mango) 1/4 to 1/2 cup
Apricot brandy (or peach schnapps) - just a splash
ice

Pour everything into a pitcher and stir. Serve in wine glasses.

Note: You'll want to adjust the amount of fruit nectar you add according to how it tastes. If the wine is very dry you'll want to add extra fruit juice nectar to 'soften' the edge.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

This past weekend Scott went away to play poker with "the boys" so Jem and I drove out to the Hamptons to stay with my friend Heidi and her sister.

We had an amazing time... It wasn't anything in particular that made it special - we just enjoyed spending time together (cooking at home, going out for ice cream, and talking into the wee hours.)

Jemma flew her first kite while we were there, and I learned how to make a wicked sangria.

When the weekend was over Jemma didn't want to leave - which probably had something to do with Jackson, Heidi's dog. He's what I can best describe as a 'cat-dog'... He's tiny, but not 'yippy' like little dogs usually are. And, unlike many small dogs, he doesn't bite or snap at people - which makes him an ideal playmate for little kids. I have to admit, I like him too... so much that he's making me re-think my 'no pets in the city' policy...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

mad world

Not the most productive afternoon...

If you're a fan of the show Mad Men you have to check out the new JibJab sendable video...

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/kE753QShKQriISPd


* For those of you who are unfamiliar with JibJab, it's a company that does pictures and animated videos using your photos. Some of them are really funny.

Monday, July 12, 2010

like roses

Jemma and her dad have an ongoing debate. Whenever Jemma tells him that his feet are stinky he says, "My feet don't stink. They smell like roses." And she'll argue with him, trying to convince him that they don't smell anything like roses, they smell like feet - and stinky feet, at that.

I guess she got sick of the argument, because one day she came back from an outing with her babysitter with a bunch of red roses. I wasn't surprised, because Jem often likes to stop on the way home - and she has brought me flowers before... But when I admired them she said, "They're not for you. They're for papa - so he can see what roses smell like."

Saturday, July 10, 2010

try it...


I found the best game to play with friends and family. It is called Catch Phrase and you can find it at Target or Amazon. It is a charade-like game, but with a timer and board making it more fun.

I had originally played it with my friends (which was hilarious), and tried it last night with my daughters. It was so much fun that everyone was jumping out of their seats, screaming and giggling the entire time. We have played it 4 times today because we can't stop!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Not in love with "I am Love"

Last night I went to see the movie, "I am Love." It's Italian, and having just returned from Italy I thought it was an appropriate choice. And I like Tilda Swinton, the lead, who is extremely talented - and who defies categorization. She's mysterious... reminding me of a reptile, somehow.

What was clearly a carefully crafted and well thought-out film turned out, surprisingly, to be tedious and disappointing. Many smaller aspects of the story felt powerful and genuine, and were handled with subtlety and a grace: the shadowy role of an in-law within a strong family unit, the domestic servant who is, in many ways, at the heart of the family, the lead character's faded homesickness for her homeland... But for me the love story - which was the main plot - was neither compelling nor convincing - in spite of graphic love scenes that had me blushing in my seat. And I'm not prudish about love scenes. I have always liked 9 1/2 weeks - even though it's considered to be vaguely (or not so vaguely) pornographic. But I don't need to be as familiar with Ms. Swinton's private parts as her waxer. Nor do I need to see her lover's scrotum.

Perhaps my biggest problem was the music, which was overwhelming and intrusive. Unsettling at best, and distractingly loud at worst... It was a perfect example of what my husband calls being "told how to feel" with a heavy-handed soundtrack.

I'm conflicted - because in some ways this was a rich and complex film - with fine acting and highly effective cinematography (I say "effective", because - while not always beautiful, it mirrored the story on many levels) - but my experience watching it wasn't enjoyable. I wasn't expecting a fast-paced movie - but even for a foreign film it seemed slow, and long - at just 2 hours.

So I don't recommend you go out and see this movie... not unless the heat wave returns and you don't have air-conditioning at home.

But I'm still thinking about it...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

New in paperback

Today Jemma made a book, and I thought I'd share it:


LITTLE PENCIL

"One day a little pencil went for a walk. He saw a flower.

And the flower smelled so good he wanted to keep it.

He tried to pick up the flower, but it was too big.

So he decided to leave it there."

The end

Hot damn!

Inspired by my insanely fitness focused sister - who, on our vacation led workout sessions that left those who chose to partake panting or puking on the sidelines - I decided to get some exercise. I guess I was feeling a bit guilty for not having joined in while I was away, so I fought the inclination to use the heat (and my general laziness) as an excuse and decided to do a yoga class yesterday. Not the kind of yoga class where you just sit and breathe, but the kind that involves strength-building poses. I figured I'd put in an hour and a half instead of the usual 30 minutes on the treadmill as some kind of atonement.

When I arrived just as the class was starting I realized there was no air-conditioning. In 100 degree weather. Surely they couldn't be serious? This wasn't supposed to be Bikram yoga (which is a yoga practice done in a very hot room.) I'm not sure what the benefits of 'hot' yoga are, but it sounds awful to me, and I've never tried it... Well, not unless you count yesterday.

Instead of having the good sense to just go home I did the class... And a day later I'm still spent.

Exercising in this weather? What were those people thinking?!!!! (What was I thinking?)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

lazy summer days

I think we are in full summer mode now. Thank goodness. This summer it only took a month to shift down, so thankfully we did it before the end of July. I’m pretty sure last summer we didn’t manage this small miracle until August? Honestly I can’t remember exactly how long it took and it’s all pretty much a blur (another indication we took too long getting to this beloved slow pace).

So Allie and I are sitting outside in our backyard now. It even smells like summer. The flowers are in full bloom and the jasmine has managed to hang on for another week. I love that smell. For some reason a bird has decided we are in his territory (obviously he is not used to seeing people just hang around these parts), and has let us know for the last 5 minutes we are not so welcome. Besides flapping his wings every few seconds and flying dangerously low above our heads, he has not stopped chirping since we arrived. Butch (one of our Boston Terrier dogs) is determined to make our bird visitor accept us. Although I don’t think Butch’s mean and angry looks (or barks) are working out so well. Our bird “friend” has now turned his back on Butch and completely ignores the futile attempts to frighten him away. I guess the good news is our backyard bird has not resorted to sending any land mines down upon our heads (although I have heard that bird poop is good luck).

Allie just saw an ant pick up a huge piece of gravel and carry it away. As a kid I remember how amazed I was by the strength of ants. I also remember sitting in a patch of 3 leaf clovers that always grew in my front yard. I would spend hours and hours searching for that one and only 4 leaf clover I was sure must be hidden away in there, somewhere. I was certain if I found it my summer would somehow be magical. But looking back now I see I didn’t need to find a 4 leaf clover to have a magical summer. All my summers were magical just because I was able to slow down long enough to sit in a pile of 3 leaf clovers without a care in the world, except whether or not my mom was planning on cooking liver for dinner that night. Not exactly my favorite meal. Oh well, so the entire summer wasn't so magical, just mostly magical.

Bob


(This is really is kind of funny. Emily just wrote a post on her fish, and I wrote one today on our fish too. We must be thinking on the same wave-length. Love it when this kind of thing happens.)

I had to clean Bob’s bowl yesterday. Bob lives on the kitchen counter and has for the last 3 homes we have lived in. Although we are known to move a lot, it’s still a significant amount of time. Bob’s a Siamese Fighting Fish and I am pretty sure Bob thought he’d won the lottery when we brought him home from the pet store. Ever notice the way those pet stores keep those fish? All stacked up on top of each other in peanut size bowls. I always wondered how those fish survived in such tiny bowls. And more importantly why PETA doesn’t object to it? Don’t fish have rights too?

As Bob went from living in a peanut size bowl to a quart size mansion, whatever feelings of joy he had quickly dissipated when our 3 cats came to check him out. I don’t want to even imagine how Bob felt staring up at them. Talk about a buzz kill for poor Bob. Those cats must have been seriously scary. Reminds me of that old cartoon with Tweety Bird and Sylvester the cat. I loved the line when Tweety would said, “I taut I taw a putty tat!”, while he sat in his cage ready to be pounced by Sylvester. Our own version of pussy cats are pretty similar, only with different cat names…Stimpy, Lynne and Coco.

Every night it’s the same ritual: Stimpy, our scrawny one-toothed completely lovable 17 year old cat, comes to sit by Bob’s liquid mansion. With controlled excitement Stimpy stares mesmerized as Bob swims around. Stimpy’s tail is like a metronome going back and fourth as it slowly sways from side to side. I think early on Stimpy must have wanted to eat Bob but realized the impossibility of that, so instead resigned himself to drink the fishy water right out of Bob’s mansion. It must taste pretty good because Stimpy makes his visit every night. After a while Bob came to some sort of peace with the whole tongue lapping thing going on above his head, and now calmly sits to watch Stimpy drink away. It is a strange site and makes us all have a good laugh whenever we see it. It’s just so wrong, isn’t it?

Bob recently went through what us Sassa girls diagnosed as a state of depression. Bob took to laying on his side, floating, with no movement for a while. Every time we came to the kitchen to find Bob laying there we would run to the bowl and jerk it around, praying he would move. Thankfully every time he would jump out of his state of depression and attempt to half swim away, more of a spazz-like swim really. Not pretty, but moving none the less and a huge relief. I was sure he was going to die. Any day, or moment. But Bob just hung in there (or rather, lay in there, sideways).

A year ago we decided to sell our home and had prospective buyers coming through. Everyone commented on the “dead fish” we had in the kitchen bowl. They kept asking if he was dead but I assuredly said, “No! Just depressed.” I don’t think anyone believed me. Bob was pretty convincing at playing dead. I am sure it crept out more than a few of the prospective buyers.

Now we are in our new home and Bob has pulled himself out of his depressed state of mind. Thankfully he is swimming upright again, but Stimpy's drinking problem hasn't stopped. Maybe that is why Stimpy has such bad breath? I’ve got to buy a toothbrush for that cat.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Rest in peace, Purple-ella

Every time Jemma asks me if we can have a dog or a cat I say, "Yes - but not until we have a house." For the time being we have three beta fish: Blue Fish, Rainbow, and Purple-ella. I'd love to have more (real) pets, but our apartment's too small to have a kitty litter, and there's no way I'm scooping dog poop off the sidewalk. For now Jemma's content with the fish.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed Purple-ella motionless at the bottom of her bowl. Fish at the bottom of the bowl = dead fish. Right? Well, not exactly... Upon closer inspection I could see that Purple-ella was still 'breathing'. I've never even heard of a fish lying down before, so I figured after a couple of hours we'd have to "take her to the toilet".

But I kept checking every day, and every day she was still alive and... not exactly 'well', but she was hanging in there. So I thought, another day or two at the most...

But she's still with us. Three weeks later. She just lies on the floor most of the time, occasionally swimming to the surface to get food.

I guess she just needs some rest.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Snap, Crackle, Pop


I have always had mixed feelings about fireworks. They're beautiful, of course - but the accompanying noise has always bothered me.

I suppose I'm fairly sensitive to noise - especially in the morning... (When I was younger I was convinced that my mom was shouting when she came in my room to wake me, when in fact she was talking in a normal voice.)

But it's not that... I grew up with ponies, and every year on the fourth of July they just about went crazy. I hated hearing their terrified whinnies - and worrying about them always tainted my experience of watching fireworks when I was a kid.

In addition I always felt vaguely stressed because for some reason I felt like I needed to pick a favorite, and I've never been great with decisions... (the winner was always one of the white ones - usually the kind that twinkle on and off in bursts or the ones that look like shooting stars.)

My husband just sent me a link to an amusing article called "Fireworks Suck" by a writer with a good sense of humor and a bad attitude.




RE: Anonymous

I'm the only person who sees comments before they are published - not Ellen, or anyone else. And if the comments are malicious or inappropriate they will not be published - and will never be seen by anyone else.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Jet-lagged, but happy

The weatherman couldn't have been more wrong in his prediction for our time in Como. Every single day was beautiful.

But it's always great to come home - no matter how wonderful the adventure...