enough

A friend is in a treatment center for Anorexia. She has battled this disease for most of her life and it really is a miracle she is still alive. I can’t imagine how hard it is to deal with something this powerful. It is an amazing accomplishment to overcome this particular demon, if you can. And it's a helpless feeling watching someone starve themself, possibly to death.

I really want to understand Anorexia more, especially having three girls (not that girls are the only ones to succumb to this particular disease, boys obviously do too), but I have always wanted my girls to have a healthy self-image, and what and how they eat is a part of that.

I used to think Anorexia was just about being thin and controlling weight with food (it is that), but I am learning it’s not that simple (duh) and goes so much deeper than that. I’m told one aspect of Anorexia is a need for control and food becomes the preferred vehicle to regaining control.

So maybe focusing less on food consumption and more on finding opportunities that allow my girls a sense of control makes more sense. The last thing I want is to have a demon like this in any of my girl's lives. It's obviously a dark and scary path. As most kids do, my girls welcome any chance to have more say in their lives and I realize this whole thing really is more about me letting go of the need to control them (I'm thinking this will be harder for me than them).

I’m starting by looking for clues from my girls. It could be by letting them choose the way they want to spend their day, or what we cook for dinner, or deciding to either wear pink flower pants or purple velvet leggings to the school performance, or which street we will take to walk our dogs. That sounds silly (especially the dog part), but I’m hopeful it gives them enough. Enough healthy control that is.

Although my friend is not a parent she has managed to share with me some pretty powerful parental advice. I'm praying for my friend and hopeful she finds her way. Always hopeful.