a pain in the you-know-what

Last night Scott went out to watch the Jets game with a friend, and Jemma wasn't happy about it.

"What if I need someone and you don't hear me?" She asked me.
"Well, just call a little louder," I said. "Or come in and get me."

She shook her head. "But that would be a pain in the you-know-what!"

I'm not sure whether she meant a pain in the you-know-what for me or a pain in the you-know-what for her...

And I don't think she has any idea what you-know-what is standing in for - it's just an expression she's heard me use. The interesting thing is, I've never used it to her - or (to the best of my recollection) even when she was listening...

The fact is that children imitate what you do and say - which stinks if you happen to use foul language, and your kid starts cursing like a sailor in front of his teacher... But if you make an effort to behave in a particular way they copy that, too.

I always try to be as patient as I can be with Jemma.

The other night Jem couldn't sleep - and when she can't sleep she doesn't just lie in bed - she wakes me to let me know she's awake, and to see if I can help...

I know that everyone has different ideas about 'sleep hygiene' and most people think I'm crazy to get up at night with my daughter... But the bottom line for me is that it's not something she has control over. She's having a problem - she's not trying to be a pain in the you-know-what.

So that night she was waking up every few hours, and having difficulty getting back to sleep. The first couple of times were easy. But when it took from 1 to 3 for her to fall back to sleep, and then 5 o'clock rolled around and she woke up again I couldn't believe it. At that point I'd had a total of 3 hours of sleep, was groggy, and more than a little grumpy. As I stumped into her room, bleary-eyed and groaning, she said to me, "You seem frustrated, Mommy. Take a deep breath."

It was disconcerting and vaguely annoying to be given advice by someone who was recently a toddler - but it was amazing to me that she was aware that I was having difficulty helping her, and was trying to help me.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I can't sleep." She said.
"I am, too." I told her, and got into bed beside her.
I put my arm around her.

I do my best to help when she's struggling, and she does her best to help me, too... even when it's a pain in the you-know-what.