subway static

The other day I was in the subway when an argument broke out between two young women. It was crowded, and one of them had accidentally bumped into the other.

The first woman had said "excuse me" but apparently that wasn't enough for the irate recipient of the bump.
"You just kicked me!" she said. "You should say you're sorry."
"I didn't kick you" the first woman countered, "And I said, 'excuse me'."
"You didn't say you're sorry - and your foot was on top of mine!"
"I didn't kick you."

The conversation continued in circles, with each woman repeating the same things she had already said - and each new round featuring the addition of foul language, recommendations to use private transportation, and the threat of smacking the other person in the face. Every time they were quiet for a few moments I thought they were done with it - but then they would just started up again, getting more and more vehement. I watched them nervously, wondering whether I should step in - but knowing that it probably wouldn't do any good. Finally they stopped. Or, at least, I thought they had stopped....

But then as the woman who had been kicked was getting off the train she threw her elbow into the other woman. She must have been thinking she was going to get in her last licks as she left - but suddenly the first woman grabbed her by the hair, pulling her back into the car and yanking her head down toward the ground.

That was when the people standing closest to them got involved. Somehow, they managed to pry the women apart, and the one who had been leaving got off the train. The passengers seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief when the doors closed and we started moving again, but the air was still charged with the echo of violence.

The car was still pretty packed, and I was standing in the aisle when I felt a jolt.
"Sorry." It was a young guy who had been instrumental in the breakup. He was sitting in a chair near where I was standing and he had accidentally kicked my foot.
"S'okay." I said immediately.
Then, making the connection at the same time, we looked at each other and laughed. Without thinking, we grasped one other's hand. It was only for an instant - an instinctive handshake that acknowledged everything that had just happened.

Then just as quickly the moment was gone. I put my hand in my pocket and looked away... And we were all just strangers on the train again.

disconnect

My mom just got me a book called "Disconnect", which is about the potential dangers of cell phones. And I have to say, I'm not excited to read it. I don't really want to find out that something that I do every day is (possibly very) harmful to my health.

These devices are legitimately useful, and can be real life-savers in certain situations... But I find that 99.9% of my cell phone use is unnecessary. Or, not unnecessary, exactly - but certainly not something I'd trade my health for...

But it's hard not to do. I suppose it's because we can't see or feel the damage early on. Kind of like smoking, that way... And like many smokers I'm 'trying to cut down' - but sometimes still shock myself with how much time I spend on the cell phone.

If you're interested in reading more about cell phone radiation here's an article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/14/business/14digi.html?_r=3

And check out this site to see whether your cell phone is one of the 'worst' or 'best' in terms of radiation:

http://sayiamgreen.com/blog/2009/10/how-much-radiation-does-your-cellphone-give-off/

Recommended reading

I recently got together with a friend who asked me about (the Swedish theologian) Emmanuel Swedenborg. She knew that I'm a 'swedenborgian', and she was interested in reading a brief overview of his life and works - as an introduction of sorts. She asked whether I could recommend a book. But I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head, so I told her I'd do a little research for something that would be appropriate.

As luck would have it, a minister that I respect a great deal just wrote a book for this very purpose - and it came out this month. (It's 'Swedenborg's Garden of Theology' by Jonathan Rose.) Talk about serendipity.

I picked up a copy for my friend and started leafing through it. And it looks fantastic. Suffice it to say that I haven't sent it to my friend yet... But I will. (I've already ordered another copy for myself.)

xo

Some mornings I'll get into Jemma's bed with her and we'll lie there quietly or talk until we're both awake enough to get up and greet the day.

Today she asked me,"Why do all mommies tell their daughters that they're 'the best little girl in the world'?"

"Probably because they love them so much." I said.

Then she said, "Do you know what? We feel the same way."

leaf collection

Jemma loves collecting leaves. And sticks and rocks, too - but right now her favorite thing to bring home is leaves. When we're walking she'll stop every four or five steps to pick one up off the sidewalk. Sometimes she'll even pick one out of the gutter and hand it to me. My coat pockets are stuffed with leaves. So is my purse. But I draw the line at the ones that are wet or rotting. She tries to give them to me anyway...

I haven't been able to figure out what makes some of them special to her. She'll go for the brightly colored ones, of course - but other times she'll hand me ones that are dull and tattered and falling apart. But she firmly believes that every one of them is special. And she watches to make sure I put them away carefully.

One afternoon we were making our way home from school by way of the park. We were walking with a few of the kids from her class, and one of the girls noticed that Jemma was collecting leaves, and started making fun of her. I explained to the girl that Jemma really likes leaves - and that I do, too - and that we were planning on doing a leaf project together. (At which point I started a mental list of cool leaf projects.) This seemed to make Jem more comfortable, and the girl stopped taunting her.

But a few moments later Jemma was calling me urgently. I went over to where the girls were playing, and the other girl was holding a beautiful leaf. "Maybe they're collecting leaves together now," I thought. No such luck...

"I was about to pick up that leaf and she grabbed it." Jemma told me.

"Well, let's find you another leaf." I suggested...

"No" Jemma said desperately, her eyes filling with tears. "That one's mine - and I need it." Distraction wasn't going to work this time... Apparently this was the perfect leaf.

The other little girl smiled smugly.

I'm pretty good at reasoning with kids. So I thought I'd give it a try. I went over and squatted down beside her.

"I wonder if you could give that leaf to Jemma, since it seems very important to her, and since you don't really care about leaves that much..." I started. But as I was speaking the girl held the leaf up, and slowly ripped it apart - her eyes on Jemma the whole time.

I watched Jemma's face as her expression changed from disbelief to horror to anguish. She let out a heartbroken cry. It broke my heart a little, too. It was startling to see such a perfect representation of cruelty and disregard played out by 4-year-olds. It was the kind of thing you usually only see in movies...

There was nothing to do but put my arms around my daughter.

"It's okay," I said. "There are so many other leaves. I'm sure we'll find an even better one."

And then, as unexpectedly as the sun breaking through during a rainstorm, one of the other kids appeared holding another leaf - different from the first one, but equally beautiful. She handed it to Jemma, saying, "Here's one for your collection." And, with that small kindness, everything was better. And we were on our way again.

yum!

I've never really enjoyed 'food scenes' in movies. You know, the ones in which a character will take a bite of some gloriously lit morsel, and violins begin to play as the character displays over-the-top ecstasy at what they're consuming.

It just seems to me that it's not something that translates well into film... or perhaps it's simply the way it's usually done... Since the audience can't smell or taste the food, I think the filmmakers get heavy handed in 'showing' us how much the character's enjoying what they're eating. But usually I just end up feeling like, "I get it - it's good." and wishing they would move on to the next shot - which they usually do a full 5 minutes later. (Maybe it only feels like five minutes to me...)

But this past weekend I had a pizza experience that could have been in the most irritating of the scenes I'm referring to.

The pizza came out, and it looked pretty good - but then, I do like pizza - so it always looks good to me. And then I took a bite... and the scene began. I was oohing and aaahing and mugging for a camera that wasn't even there. And I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure there were violins, too...

Best pizza I've tasted. Anywhere. Ever.

If you find yourself in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, check out Motorino. Or make a special trip just to try their pizza - it's worth it.

http://www.motorinopizza.com/

everything is going be alright

Last night one of my daughters was having a hard time about something and I could not find the words to comfort her. In fact after a solid 30 minutes of trying I was completely out of ideas. Nothing was working and whatever I said only exasperated her problem. To say I was feeling helpless and well, to be completely honest, useless in the parental arena is putting it mildly.

Out of sheer desperation I looked up to the ceiling for help (like inspiration would come from there?), and my daughter said, “Mom, if you would just tell me everything is going to be okay, I would be alright!”.

How ridiculous that I couldn’t come up with those words myself. Pretty obvious, right? Isn’t that what we all want to hear, that everything really will be okay.

mr. roboto

Some mornings when you get up stretching feels so good. And other mornings - like this morning - things don't work out so well.

I'm not talking about the kind of stretching that you're supposed to do before and after exercise - the slow, gentle routines that lengthen your muscles and make you more flexible. I'm talking about a just-woke-up cat stretch.

I did one of those this morning and something went wrong (don't ask me how) and I ended up with a stiff neck. Now I'm walking around like Mr. Roboto.

right this way

It feels like I've been doing nothing but visiting schools lately... (Which isn't too far from the truth, since we're looking at several schools - most of which require a parent interview, student interview, and a tour). But it's important to feel comfortable with a place that Jemma will be spending so much time next year, so I'm putting in the hours...

The tours are tedious - and sometimes feel entirely unnecessary. You usually get a feeling for a school right away, and the rest is just killing time. It's amazing how quickly you get a gut reaction to a place. So far I've seen a lot of nice schools, as well as a few - some with great reputations - that I wouldn't consider sending my daughter to. However, I went on a tour yesterday that was absolutely fabulous. The school itself is lovely, and the atmosphere is one in which I imagine children would flourish. It's just a nice place to be - which made the tour much more palatable. I ended up feeling like if they would have let me apply for a spot in their kindergarten for myself I probably would have. The location is a little out of the way for us... but it's worth considering because it seems like such a special place.

I still have several more schools to visit. I won't be able to make any real comparisons until January, when I'll have checked out enough of them to make an informed decision...

halloween

Oh, I almost forgot...

We did get back from our trip in time for trick-or-treating.

And Jem wore this.