danger zone

I think it is safe to say, at least as of this moment, that I managed not to kill anyone. It has been 3 days since the incident: I cooked dinner for 5 friends. So although this miracle might not be looked upon as a big deal to most, it is in my world. I’m not exactly known to be a cook, let alone a good cook. In fact, I’m usually frightened away from the kitchen by all those strange tools and things that make loud noises. I finally got used to the sink disposal noise when I realized the stuff left in the sink drain would dispense into the dishwasher filled with dishes if not cleared out before starting (I’m thinking that might not be true, but it did manage to get me over the noise-fear issue). Now if I could just get over all the other fears, like not killing someone from my kitchen concoctions.

It all started because of banana bread. I had some friends over and offered up some I had made as our desert. It was one of those fool proof recipes that unless you were a complete dork, you could make it, monkeys included. And amazingly it was pretty tasty. The reason for that is because of a series of mistakes. I forgot to take it out of the oven, and along with being set to the wrong temperature, it was in too long. The top was blackened, but somehow the crunchiness of the black part made the consistency of the undercooked insides good. I have tried to recreate it since to no avail. So the yum factor was admittedly a total fluke.

Our conversation went from how good it tasted, to a discussion on other items I might be able to cook that could be considered edible. I got caught up in the moment’s excitement and offered to cook dinner for everyone. All 5 of them. What was I thinking?

So here is the truth: I don’t think I am such a “bad” cook, I am just a perfectionist There are way too many possible wrong turns I can make in the kitchen which inevitably leads to a very dark, scary road. Way too much room for error.

My menu was a pipe dream. From the potato/tomato and salad appetizers, to the chicken/couscous/vegi entrée to the berry tart. Why I chose all this is something I can’t answer except to say I might not only be a perfectionist, but also a glutton for punishment. There were way too many moving pieces of this puzzle to put together. I could have chosen one app, but it wouldn’t have fit on the plate nicely alone. Two were needed…thus throwing myself directly on that road to disaster. Leading to the real and present danger of actually killing someone with my cooking creations.

I burned many candles in anticipation of an expected food fire in the oven, and had my favorite restaurant on speed dial just in case. Somehow I managed to keep everything in it’s normal range of color (not black and crisp), and with a heavy dose of wine, everyone seemed to enjoy dinner.

I heard it takes 48 hours for food poisoning symptoms to start up, so I think I am in the clear.